"You create yourself, whatever you believe you are. You are the way you are because that is what you believe about yourself. Your whole reality, everything you believe is your creation." ---Don Miguel Ruiz

That is why learning of psychological disorders seem so weird after a while.

It is like creating an entity that allows people to choose what they would want to become at low times.

erectophobia - fear of getting erected.

It is 1.00 am and here i am, blogging.

something must be wrong, isn't it?

I am tired, but i can't sleep as well.

Maybe coz there is too much to think about.

Life has been hectic with my first dosage of dealing with drama for the year.

I hate dramas. So i try my best to undrama potential incoming dramas.

To me, dramas are man - made.

But problems are God made, for us to learn and to push ourselves to continue swimming. harder.

Problems are meant to be solved, dramas aren't.

It serves only to magnify problems.

I find it easier to surround myself with work constantly,

because then i would feel less empty.

more relevant, and the fact that i am progressing,

gives me utmost satisfaction.

I also don't find myself trusting people that easy anymore.

Don't get me wrong, i would love to be able to,

but experiences proved me otherwise.

I have this friend, and we were really close till the extent of me actually allowing that person to know me.

which is actually rare.

but because of an issue regarding us having a totally different thinking / conflicting views,

that person literally just ignored me,

forgetting the fact that i have the right to disagree.

Just like that.

I am surprised with how simple it gets.

The fact though, it isn't that person's fault.

Fact remains, life is like that.

No, it doesn't suck but,

i came to a realization that there are only very few people / friends who would be there for you whenever you need them,

and the rest are like spectator ions.

we should try our best to make people happy each day in whatever way,

but at the end of the day,

who is gonna feel hurt for you.

some might, but maybe for a phase.

after school, people move on. same goes to college.

That is why we often question ourselves and try our best to create happiness and a support system,

that is certain and never goes away.

But often, we struggle to find the path on how to reach there.

Which proves my point again, finding your other half.

That is why, i feel happy whenever i see people with their partners and kids.

and actually putting an effort to making it work.

That to me, is ultimate happiness.

Why?

Because that kind of happiness provides certainty.

and from there, you can then explore other forms of happiness which can potentially fail. eg, career.

Point is, you must have that support system or rather a base, FIRST,

otherwise life would be such a gamble.

BTW, go listen to lee hom's new song, its mv, and lyrics.

cool stuff!

The premiere song of Wang Leehom's new album, "十八般武藝" or "The 18 Martial Arts" is based on an ancient Chinese saying: "早晨開門七件事─柴米油鹽醬醋茶." Rough translated as "The seven things we need in order to open the door in the morning: firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, and tea."

Chasing our dreams often means making sacrifices, especially when it comes to showing our loved ones how much we care. This song is to remind all those who dream big that sometimes the biggest dream of all is simply having someone who can be there with you through all the good times and the bad - someone with whom you can be happy just sharing a home-cooked meal.

" When you were young, what did you want?

i wanted a really big blue airplane

to take me around the world

to every corner of the globe,

traveling back and forth among the white clouds in the blue sky,

And after i grew up, what did i want?

i wanted a small red answering machine,

so i could record with you,

Hi! We're not home at the moment,

blue became red because of you,

firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, tea,

each and every drop is a bud of happiness growing,

a crescent moon, a foolish love,

i already have everything when i have you,

making you happy whether it's day or night,

grasping both your hands even in wind and rain,

i only want you,

want you to stay by my side,

protecting you until the end of time,

a crescent moon, a foolish love,

there's no reason,

to live a complicated life,

i already have everything when i have you. "

Good night, people.

I better get sleeping.

:)

Laughing at ourselves,

make things a lot easier sometimes.

My vey good friend.

I so mengharapkan she gets a boyfriend ever since zaman batu already.

then one day, a guy confessed his feelings towards her.

and the best part is she also like the guy.

THEN U KNOW WHAT SHE SAID OR NOT.

she asked to wait.

I am like wtf wait for what?

WAIT FOR MALAYSIA 2 SNOW IS IT.

u know so hard to find someone hot and that person also find u hot

satu dalam sejuta ok.

also

I lupa tell u guys my dog story.

and how it travelled around the world.

so menyayat hati wth.

I gtg.

see u soon.

: D

Exams are over!

And everything starts again after 3 days. : S

I need to do something.

Studying is just not me anymore.

I want to go out and do things.

Just me and books don't say much to me.

I am bored.

That is why i am currently teaching BM tuition, for two tuition centres,

Which makes up for 8 classes a week, and notes to prepare.

Plus i have this need to exercise every day.

I do not have time.

The thing is, all this is not what i want.

I want to go out and make a difference.

I want to make people happy.

Otherwise i feel like i am wasting my time,

and life would be such a waste.

I know i am 18, but i don't believe in age.

I have got so many dreams, visions and goals that i have yet to fulfill,

College just isn't enough for me.

I want to make people happy.

I want to travel,

Talk to people,

Get input, give output,

and see what i can do.

I want to work to give assurance to people whom lives suck,

and tell them things would be ok.

I hope something would pop up.

That urge to make a difference and help.

I roughly know what i want,

but i still am figuring how i wanna do it.

And i certainly hope i don't have to wait till after my degree.

Just me and books don't speak much, at all.

Living to make myself happy seems so dull after a while.

It doesn't quite matter anymore.

Everybody give me a prayer,

so that something comes quick enough.

A Reminder to myself : I must go for this.

Btw, please do watch these videos of yasmin ahmad.

It really is good.

Probably the most insightful few minutes of your life.

Moments.

I was watching american idol finale just now,

and felt that Lee was lucky to be able to have what i call, moments.

Do you know, that feeling,

when the world stops and everyone is just focusing on you, being happy for you,

and after years even decades of waiting and working hard for something,

you just feel crazy satisfied,

and the most crucial part is when you actually feel proud of yourself, so much,

you do not feel like asking for more.

Moments like that we encounter in life are so rare, ( once or even none )

and i am not even talking about moments collectively as in like you are happy about your job over a period of time,

it is just that intense feeling that last not more than a night.

that out of your body kind of feeling.

when you just feel like shouting to the whole world, and cry your emotions out.

it is really so so so so rare,

i would really do anything just to have it.

For example, the SPM top achievers.

That moment when they look at all their straight A +++++++++, and after the two years of hard work,

that moment of gratefulness can be quite amazing, really.

And those kinds of moments are what students normally strive for, because that is the only thing they know how to do.

What if you are not a studious kind?

I wasn't and still am not a studious kind, and i can never understand math and science.

Which is exactly the point.

Day by day, I / we should search for areas where we can embrace those moments.

We all have different ways of reaching them, and hopefully we spend most of our time figuring it out.

That moment where victory lies within yourself. Endorphins - filled.

Moment like how Millie won the HELP Psychology Challenge which comes with a full scholarship.

Moment like when you finish your degree and attend your convocation or even better get like first class honours. That moment when you walk up the stage with your parents smiling at you, crowd cheering.

Moment like when Lee won American Idol.

Moment like when someone wins an Oscar, signaling that the wait is over.

Moment like when you win an Olympic gold medal.

Moment like when you get married.

Some might say getting a degree is a moment by itself, some might say getting a first class is a moment for them.

Some might say winning an Anugerah Industri Muzik award, some might say winning a grammy can only be considered as a moment.

It differs, yes.

But we should strive for better quality moments as we progress.

That security you get when you know you grasp that moment, which has that great of a power to make you smile a life time.

Hopefully i get multiple moments throughout my lifetime, and my third one, soon enough.

Because when you eat fried chicken and honey dew together, you feel like dancing.

Sharon says:

talk 2 u in a while
wanna go finish up my proj 1st
until what time will u be on9

WAI MENG says:
until when
the moon stops to shine.

Sharon says:
k then so i'll c u l8r =P

WAI MENG says:
SHARON
U MUST ASK WHY
ASK ASK ASK

Sharon says:
u're exactly like my friend.. EXACTLY
why??

WAI MENG says:
i thought i am your bff. or whatever you call it. :(

Sharon says:
YES U ARE!!!!!!
but his attitude is so like u
kk why why

WAI MENG says:
ok ok ok hear me
because the moon stops to shine
when sharon falls asleep.
so i would be here
till it stops to shine.

Sharon says:
awww..
lol

WAI MENG says:
ok

Sharon says:
only u can come up with these kind of things

Because!

Because smart people avoid when they sense rejection coming.

Not so smart people indulge in the infatuation till the extent of being in denial.

Deep inside, we all know the truth and just maybe it sucks.

But if we don't take a step back soon enough, we wouldn't be able to differentiate fantasy and reality.

Then, we would lose control.

I always believe we can choose whether or not to fall in love.

But once we are in it,

when we decide to commit,

when we allow our hearts rule,

when we give power to that other person,

it is hard to crawl back up.

So, choose. And see whether that person is worth it.

When there is still time,

save yourself will ya?

Hello. It has been long. : D

I was looking through my previous two posts.

and after writing , i ended the post with,

" i am sorry if i have annoyed you "

That is something i have to think about.

What exactly i am sorry about?

It is my blog, after all.

I guess my certain amount of fear and lack of trust for people, kinda still creeps in.

AND

So long since i have last updated, no?

I am really busy.

First, there is college.

Second, i am teaching like 10 BM tuition classes a week, which is great.

It has been so long since i last spoke in Bahasa,

and All the debates during F3 /F4 / F5, gosh i miss it.

Third, i enrolled in a gym.

LAST WEEK.

So, hopefully this current moment of semangat - ness would last.

Moving on,

I was annoyed with someone yesterday, therefore,

i went and told this to my friend.

and she turned around and said, " wai meng ah, if you can talk about another person , i wonder
whether or not you would talk behind my back, "

and it got me thinking.

this is exactly why i keep a lot, a lot of things to myself.

If what i feel or thought, does not benefit people, why should i share it?

It just makes you question yourself and the people around you.

How many people you can actually trust?

Or rather, in this case, how many people would trust you?

That is why, we all seek love.

thinking that maybe, one day, when we do find the right person,

that person can play the role as a best friend and a lover.

But really, how many of us are that lucky to find our soul mate?

Some found theirs as young as 20, some not till they are 60.

I talked to this 40 something year old man in college,

and he said,

he doesn't believe in love.

apparently there are just too much temptations around and the world is changing.

I kept quiet, allowing him to prove his point.

But the bigger question here is, the world might be changing,

BUT should we?

We define who we are, and what we want.

He argued further saying that although I might contribute a 100 percent, but not necessarily the other person.

exactly.

that is why we never fail to have faith, and i am sure, out of the billions of people around,

there should be that one person for you.

He told me to come and see him 10 years from now, and see whether i have the same perception.

EVEN if someone does not find his / her whatever perfect love,

EVEN if that person never comes till the day he / she dies,

would it matter, really?

Just the faith and believing there is someone out there alone,

is more than enough.

On a completely unrelated note,

a lot of people should understand the difference between having your own moral values and principles,

and forcing down others' throats.

I was talking to a friend about gay marriage,

and he said he is totally against it.

BUT, he said, however, he is against the ruling against gay marriage.

For example, I am against abortion.

However, I am against the ruling against abortion.

Can u see the difference?

Having a definite black and white does not mean that the society would always see things that way.

People would still do what they want.

I believe in human rights.

Everyone deserve to do what they want, and HOW they want it to be done.

It doesn't mean what they do is right, but at the same time, it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

In a nutshell, we can do our best to convey our messages and principles, as a person,

but I believe no one has the right to draw a definite black and white line FOR others.

Going back to what i said earlier,

Sometimes it is much easier to keep things to myself.

Doesn't mean i don't say, i don't feel.

Sometimes there isn't just much point.

Only if it does bring out a positive impact,

i should consider saying it out.

I don't get why people would create and join groups like

" Taylor Swift sucks "

" Justin Bieber always sings about girls, she must be a lesbian "

I get it if you don't like them.

But, the question is, why bother?

Why waste a few minutes of your life, clicking and allowing updates on them?

Btw, i like miley cyrus.

I think she is pretty, just saying.

Also, there is this supposedly annoying guy on facebook.

Whenever he releases a status, people would start commenting,

calling him names and all that.

* But why did they approve with being friends with him in the first place?

We often judge just a bit too fast.

I am for one, quite judgemental, but i TRY to be less, day by day.

I was walking with my Vietnamese friend, and there was this group of guys,

and they said, " wah tengoklah baju dalam pun x pakai, macam2 orang pada masa kini "

she is a very nice person.

And also, i was talking to this girl, and suddenly she said something like,

" yes lah, easy for you to say, you never felt being fat and ugly before "

WELL, she really has no idea.

people aren't always what they seem to portray.

I like to call myself hot, i really do.

I have always said that i am hot, cool, etc, etc, etc. AND i mean it.

Why?

How do we judge if someone is ugly?

How do we judge if someone is hot?

How do we judge if someone is cool?

How do we judge if someone is popular?

No one is able to define any of it. Subjective.

A person can be hot to you, but not for another person.

So i came up with this conclusion which is as long as you feel that you are hot, THEN you are hot.

Even if people feel that you are hot, but you, yourself, do not feel that you are,

it still wouldn't matter.

It really has to come from within.

What is wrong with syok sendiri, if memang is menyokkan right.

True stories :

There is a friend in facebook, his status,

" I give up. I try my best to be nice to be part of my best friends' circle and it doesn't work "

- * since when we had to try that hard to be friends with someone. No, why should we. Fact is, we click with some people, and not so much for others.

Another friend, said that he likes to go out as often as he can BECAUSE he would get tagged, and apparently, the more pictures, the more popular you are.
-* Don't laugh, true story. suggestion : go buy a camera and take like 1000 pictures of yourself.
and maybe your turtle. Fuyooo so popular.

Another said she wanted to wear like huge ear rings in college, but didn't because everyone didn't.
- * Huge ear rings. Those are. just. ear. rings. I am not asking you to be Lady Gaga.

Another said that he felt sad because no girls wanted to flirt with him. He wanted to appear relevant.
-* We all need or hope for that one girl to flirt with us. The significant one. NOT girls.

Conclusion : NONE of this sentiments / actions / thoughts were done for themselves. But others.

Start living for yourself.

GO WATCH THIS, PLEASE.

Directed by a Malaysian, Ho Yuhang.

Jane Ng Meng Hui, won for best newcomer at the recent Asian Film Awards. ( first to ever do so )

i would prolly watch it this saturday, alone.

and my mom would insist on coming along, as usual.

There is still hope for Malaysian cinema.

Yasmin Ahmad created a chance for Malaysian films to be relevant,

i hope more directors do the same.

Woah.

moments that make me smile such as,

seeing a transvestite laughing along with his / her / whatever / doesn't matter's mom in the LRT.

cool stuff.

I like being naive.

i really do.

i am never cool.

never wanted to be,

and never will be.

This. makes me happy.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hi, I'm Male from Southeast Asia, am not looking for cyber (in which i could prefer looking not in omegle)/ 18 years old. I'll understand if you don't prefer to talk with me for you might looking for certain asl.

You: can i ask you something.

Stranger: shoot.

You: do u believe in God?

Stranger: of course

You: :)

You: why

Stranger: Human's soul have to believe in something..

Stranger: but that's not my actual reason

You: then what is?

Stranger: some people wouldn't understand if i say that God has given me faith to believe in Him

Stranger: God have done something to me

Stranger: He gives me faith, he chose me to believe and follow His words

You: christian?

Stranger: It's cannot be debated

Stranger: yes

Stranger: Some (atheists) people would debate with logic and never understand the truth

* word for word

This. makes me sad.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hii

You: do u believe

You: in God?

Stranger: in what

Stranger: um

Stranger: no

Stranger: sorry

You: why

You: :(

Stranger: because he's just fake, we uman are not made by one holybelolygod

Stranger: and alle the things we have

Stranger: like bread

Stranger: we worked for that

Stranger: and you don't have to thank god

Stranger: bacause you have it

Stranger: and if somebody's sick

Stranger: don't pray

Stranger: just take care of that one

Stranger: so

Stranger: that's why

You: take care of what?

Stranger: for the sick person ofcourse, in that tiny moment you pray, he could have been bette

Stranger: bye

* Word for word.

Straight A's

i am proud,

and happy.

the best part being,

my mom shouted / screamed.

Are hot people really THAT hot?

Like, how do we define hot.

And really, how important it is to be hot.

I like good - looking people, i really do.

But looks only bring you that far.

What is more important is that something extra, which i can't describe in words.

You know when someone has that aura that makes you nervous, stumble over your words, and exudes a great sense of ease whenever you are with them.

And of course, the eyes, it says a lot.

Therefore, hotness is subjective and varies according to individuals.

Also, have you noticed a blind couple @ HELP? or any other blind couples for that matter.

I guess, they are the ones who truly understand the true definition of hot. :)

Did u watch the Oscars?

I am so happy that THE HURT LOCKER WON.

It was so cool when Sandra Bullock said during her acceptance speech,

" Back then, when kindness is not a popular thing "

Which is so true!

I think there are like lots of intelligent and kind people around. ( Youth, especially )

More and more, in fact.

After all, you need intelligence to put your message of kindness across, kan?

Have u seen or read about the young Singaporean film makers?

So hebat.

And also, back then, no one would have supported Yasmin Ahmad's ideology of Malaysia.

But now, many are following her footsteps.

I also feel we must constantly surround ourselves with positive people.

People who can laugh their worries out. Just optimistic people.

If we do otherwise, we would end up being as judgemental, bitchy and negative as the people we mix with.

And of course, weird people.

I do not know how we term or define " weird people "

Most people would say that when a person is annoying / irritating.

Some even use Race and religion.

Some even say fat people.

Or even gay / lesbians.

I for one, believe that there are no weird people.

But there are, less - fortunate people.

We should try to look at it this way, to adopt a more sympathetic approach.

Someone is loud - mouthed prolly is coz they are not confident because of their own insecurities.

Someone who is bitchy talks about people in a negative way, day and night because they dislike themselves so much, they find a need to find another person who is supposedly worse of than them, just to make themselves feel better.

Someone who seeks attention till the point of getting annoying. But we have to see where they are coming from. The only reason someone seeks attention is because they just wanna fit in and be acknowledged that they exist. But most of us just brush them off.

Someone who is fat.

Someone who is gay.

Someone who acts like a nerd. Nerds often feel that they have failed socially, and the only way that they can comfort themselves is by doing their best and have control in their studies. So, does that make them weird?

Someone who is apparently not cool. Aiyoh. Don't get me started on this. If you still see and judge someone as cool and not cool ( at 18 ) , go see a psychologist please.

Some people are apparently " weird ",

is also because they are suffering from a certain mental illness.

I know of people in college who has,

ADD,

OCD,

and split personality.

And one of them said, " Yes, it is hard but the world doesn't stop for me "

We never know why people act the way they do.

because we are just too egoistic to admit our problems.

What we can do is NOT by being an angle, but just try to understand a little bit more.

If we can be extra nice to orphans, handicaps, people with known illness such as cancer, old folks,
why not do that to people in general.

Again, they might be suffering from a mental illness, problems from their family, spouse and many more.

We just never know.

So, be nice.

i am sorry if i have annoyed you.

i have to post this up to train myself to think this way, which is good.

Like what yasmin ahmad said : ,

Yasmin Ahmad : I am optimistic and sentimental to the point of being annoying, especially to people who think that being cynical and cold is cool.

: D

i am too lazy to blog.

I believe in fairy tales and miracles.

and there are.

and you only need one to last you a lifetime.

but we have to work hard for it.

never let anyone tell you it doesn't exist.

coz it does.

WAH SO FUNNY

at first i was quite annoyed with how my college has mid - terms during the CNY week.

then as i was stalking those fascinating young singaporean filmmakers, ( wtf, so young but they have achieved so much ! )

i came across this article.

trust me, everyone should read this.

it is really worth it.

after i read it,

i laughed and laughed until the kucing yang tidak begitu comel also laughed along.

and please lah give me a break.

i am sure you know why i found it hilarious.

lazy to meng-thesis-kan perasaan.

: D.

EDIT : wah, this is the best part.

”If you allow [homosexuality], next time people will want to get married to monkeys. And they will want rights. They’ll want to apply for HDB. With a donkey or a monkey or a dog and so on. It’s very pathetic. ”

Konsert Satu Suara : Siti Nurhaliza said Gong Xi Fa Cai to me,

and therefore,

i shall say Happy Chinese New Year to you.

Can you like see the connection?

Siti Nurhaliza - > me - > you.


am gonna blog more.

patience.

Black and white.

my favourite colour.

so distinct,

so different,

but able to blend so well.

almost like nothing could go wrong.

FYI.

when i am too lazy to blog,


https://twitter.com/waimengyap

WOAH : 0 - 18 SX ( the - i am this close to eternal happyness AND satisfaction version )

* I am either dawson / bobo / or wai meng on msn.

depending on what i ate.

One day, someone / thing added me on msn. ( sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com)

Because her pm said, " Watch me naked live "

sudah terang lagi bersuluh, nothing comes easy.

( i didn't keep my hopes up that high )

DAWSON says:
FUCK U
U R A VIRUS

sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
i'm 21/f your a male right?

sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
nice, I just got off work and finally got some time to relax which site did i msg you from again?


*thinking that she might be a real person after all,

DAWSON says:
sorry
but u have a virus on ur pm.
have u noticed?

sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
I know a way we can chat and have a better time.. do you cam?


sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
Well i don't do yahoo cam or any other cam because i have been recorded before... But i do know one site you can watch me on cam, that assures me no one records...

*assures no one record. hmmmm.
: D
though i make a good video, i believe.

DAWSON says:
HAHAHAHAH
WHAT WHAT


sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
I mean... Do you want to see me on my cam?

DAWSON says:
YES BUT
I WANNA KNOW
WHAT
CAN U SHOW ME
FIRST


sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
Ok go to http://twurl.nl/ovkn0q accept the invite on the page baby

DAWSON says:
WAITT
WHAT CAN I GET FROM IT


sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
sweet, fill out the info ur info.. i can not wait for you to see me baby let me find something nice to wear

DAWSON says:
WHAT R U WEARING
TELLLLLLLL MEEEEEEEEEE


sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site, so they might ask for CC to verify your age babe.

DAWSON says:
WHAT R U GONNA SHOW ME
UR B****
OR WHAT


sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
What color Panties do you think i should wear? i might have you favorite color here somewhere...

DAWSON says:
RED RED
YES YES


sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
Your such a good boy, i'm gonna show you what good boys deserve.. you can tell me to do anything you want me too!

*fuck, she knows what good boys deserve!
you don't.

DAWSON says:
ok
what would u do for me

sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
Ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.

You have just sent a nudge.

sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
u have to enter a cc, atm, or debit card so they can tell your of age, thats the ony way to see me sweety


DAWSON says:
what if i don't wanna see you
i wanna feel u

sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
k you in yet babe??


DAWSON says:
YES YES
I AM INSIDE
YES YES

sonyaduchin93@hotmail.com says:
k


DAWSON says:
WHERE R U GOING

You have just sent a nudge.

You may not send a nudge that often.

You have just sent a nudge.

and this is how she left me. : ( : ( : (

P/S : Incase u r wondering, no i didn't click on that link.

well, reality sucks. : ( : ( : (


I OFFICIALLY PUTUS CINTA.

AKU EMO.

Why am i always hungry.

I must go for this. * will

It is almost like a calling, really.

Siti Nurhaliza is performing. ( yes, i still do like her though she is married. i am happy if she is happy lah : S ).

and there's aizat.

and then Faizal Tahir as well !

: O

If Jaclyn Victor was there, i'd prolly be camping outside Istana Budaya with banners and stuff.

Anyway,

my mom is quite annoyed about it as the tickets aren't exactly cheap.

But i sinned already,

as i didn't go for,

Puteri Gunung Ledang The Musical,

and Siti's last concert there.

so how can i repeat my dosa?

According to the website, the front row seats are not bad.

and it is affordable - rm 120.

There are three shows - 12, 13, and 14th of February.

Yes, you got it right.

13's the eve and 14's CNY.

leaving me with only the 12th, which is the gala night.

which is more expensive - rm 153 or maybe more.

I don't get it,

even if the organizers felt that there were no Chinese interested for the show,

which might me true,

they should at least leave the option open, no?

My journey there. ( very kesian, like penjelajah man )

From HELP,

i'd take a bus to the LRT station - transfer to KTM / STAR - walk / take a taxi - Istana Budaya.

since Friday is my hungry day, ( so i makan banyak )

i wouldn't have enough money to take the taxi,

so i shall walk.

Pray for me lah ok?

Semoga my perjalanan dipermudahkan and i get good seats.

Edit : I got the tickets! In the end, my mummy bought it for me.

she was @ istana budaya @ 9.15 am,

they said that she was the first who bought the tickets!

and do u get why i was so bersemangat?

As of now, all 128 seats of rm 153 are sold out, and they just started selling it today.

Because everyone is sexy and hot.

First of all, ( hello )

I hate, in fact i don't sms.

so 4give me,

i arrange my sepuluh jari mohon sorry,

when i do not reply.

How's college?

It is fine, but,

i don't know why we have to study, study skills.

during class,

i sleep with my eyes opened.

and today, Kali wanted 2 go 2 the washroom and our teacher said no.

gosh, do u know how disappointed she was?

Happy people teach well.

like my math lecturer.

according to alison,

he just got married and that explains it all, no?

just married = happy = teach well.

Why, you ask.

Because their life is fun, night or day. ( i shall be polite, but we sama - sama tahulah k? )

Remember, when i said i was reading a book by Amir Muhammad on Yasmin Ahmad's films?

So today, i attended the autograph session @ HELP.

It was ok, other than the fact that the hall was cold.

So i asked mr. Amir,

On whether or not Yasmin, herself analyzed her films as detailed as how he did.

Or she just shot her films spontaneously, without thinking too much,

as it was just in her.

he answered but i didn't pay much attention because,

there was this really hot girl sitting behind me, and my jantung like so berdebar - debar.

MOVING ON.

Later, a girl raised her hand,

and said,

With regards of what he said, i think Yasmin wanted all of us to analyze, and question. ( or sth of that sort )

Which i totally agree.

BUT, that wasn't my persoalan.

When i read Amir's book,

I highly doubt Yasmin herself was so analytical and detailed about her films.

I feel that she just shot her films from what she believed in, and sometimes even from what she felt at that moment. like, very selamba. ( u have to read the book to understand : D )

point is, i didn't like it when the girl said that.

fuck man, i hate to be challenged that way.

( or maybe she was true-and i hate to be outsmart like that ? : O )

i don't know, you be the judge. : D

My Korean friends call me bodo / gila.

thinking that it is cute.

i forgive them.

Whoever that adds me on facebook / msn,

diwajibkan,

talk to me or introduce yourself lah k.

online, i am very lifeless wan.

i do stuff that you don't want to know. :O : D : D : D : D

so if you can make it more interesting, why not?

The BIGGEST joke of the tahun.

someone told me that some people think i am arrogant.

firstly, ( miss chandra, i am using transition signals, yay ).

if it means i don't smile when i walk, ( someone told me that )

sad to say ok,

i am not gila.

imagine me smiling : ) around the corridor of HELP,

i'd be like doraemon / bobo. ( sorry, i don't get this either. )

Religion.

Have i mentioned that i went for CF last week?

And it was great.

I like the songs, i really do.

Shoot me,

but i feel the same when i go to a temple,

or a church.

as good.

I believe that all religions are the same,

but there are just different ways of reaching God.

because there are different parts, people, language, and culture around the world.

logically, as well,

we would have different religions.

so, i regard all of them as the same.

Therefore,

if any teaching asks me to believe that theirs is the only true one, disregarding the others,

saying that only people from that particular religion would go 2 heaven, and the rest to hell,

sorry to say,

i shall remain in the middle.

why?

i very lame wan.

because I have this fantasy about being in heaven,

with hot people who are Muslims, Buddhists, Indians, and the list goes on.

Like damn fun ok.

we can eat like specially made in heaven satay and rendang 2gether, and halal chinese food,
and papadom, all in one meal.

after makan, very full right?

we go say hi and thank God ( must respect lah ok ),

and later go play congkak.

and after that, we play black jack / poker.

( i get that race and religion are different, but for the sake of getting my message across, i shall follow majority )

P / s : Forgive me, when i use the word sexy / hot / hotness, just too many times in college or even here.

I just believe that everyone is sexy and hot.

It is just a matter of time before you are convinced.

Some people take years, some people never.

so, we shall not waste any more time, no?


: D.

Because we are too damn desperate to be happy.

We all search for happiness all the time.

While walking in college / school,

we all look for a familiar face to talk to,

if we are extrovert, we try our best to be friendly,

if we are introvert, we all hope that someone would come and talk to us,

constantly hoping that we would appear cool, or at least decent.

hoping that whatever we say, would appear relevant to the other party.

we all look around,

praying that we would fit in,

therefore,

sticking with that same few friends,

to ensure security that we would never be left out and be an outcast.

coz at one point in our life,

we have felt that way.

and would do basically anything to avoid it.

that is why, in college,

we would constantly see students from the same country,

sticking 2gether like a gang,

but we can't blame them.

then we realize.

and look around, again.

and wonder why we are so different.

and as we grow and mature, we realize that it doesn't matter if we don't fit in.

it doesn't matter if we are not outstanding.

as long as we are happy.

therefore, we look and hope to fall in love.

we know ( or think ),

by falling in love,

we would be less lonely,

as we can now have someone to depend on,

emotionally,

to trust,

to hang out,

with no pressure to appear cool,

to be accepted.

and so we wait.

and wonder how much longer.

probably the people, who appear the happiest, friendliest, and most outgoing,

are the ones who are sad, and lonely.

but we all thank god.

at least we get a chance to act happy.

we get a chance to hide the struggle that we are facing, and pretend that everything is fine.

why?

because we have a responsibility.

for ourselves, and our parents.

sooner or later,

we thank god if we can put a smile on someone else's face,

rather than just being yourself,

sad and lonely,

and making others feel the negativity.

because well,

some people are just really worth us, putting a show for.

because it sucks even more,

if someone finds out.

point is,

take a moment,

each day and look around.

wonder, and question.

u would be amazed with what you can see.

just a few days ago,

someone from another country,

asked me what time it was.

his watch wasn't working.

mine looked expensive,

feeling shy, he felt the need 2 talk about,

how his watch is cheap and old.

and i told him about how mine is cheap, too.

and i bought it from a night market.

and it doesn't matter.

he nodded his head, and smiled.

anyway,

don't be fussy.

so what if we don't get what we want.

like the great yasmin ahmad said,

i thank god each day for the ability to breath, eat and drink.

stop wanting so much,

and expect less,

and probably u would be less bothered.

and don't correct me.

i know what i am saying.