"You create yourself, whatever you believe you are. You are the way you are because that is what you believe about yourself. Your whole reality, everything you believe is your creation." ---Don Miguel Ruiz

That is why learning of psychological disorders seem so weird after a while.

It is like creating an entity that allows people to choose what they would want to become at low times.

erectophobia - fear of getting erected.

It is 1.00 am and here i am, blogging.

something must be wrong, isn't it?

I am tired, but i can't sleep as well.

Maybe coz there is too much to think about.

Life has been hectic with my first dosage of dealing with drama for the year.

I hate dramas. So i try my best to undrama potential incoming dramas.

To me, dramas are man - made.

But problems are God made, for us to learn and to push ourselves to continue swimming. harder.

Problems are meant to be solved, dramas aren't.

It serves only to magnify problems.

I find it easier to surround myself with work constantly,

because then i would feel less empty.

more relevant, and the fact that i am progressing,

gives me utmost satisfaction.

I also don't find myself trusting people that easy anymore.

Don't get me wrong, i would love to be able to,

but experiences proved me otherwise.

I have this friend, and we were really close till the extent of me actually allowing that person to know me.

which is actually rare.

but because of an issue regarding us having a totally different thinking / conflicting views,

that person literally just ignored me,

forgetting the fact that i have the right to disagree.

Just like that.

I am surprised with how simple it gets.

The fact though, it isn't that person's fault.

Fact remains, life is like that.

No, it doesn't suck but,

i came to a realization that there are only very few people / friends who would be there for you whenever you need them,

and the rest are like spectator ions.

we should try our best to make people happy each day in whatever way,

but at the end of the day,

who is gonna feel hurt for you.

some might, but maybe for a phase.

after school, people move on. same goes to college.

That is why we often question ourselves and try our best to create happiness and a support system,

that is certain and never goes away.

But often, we struggle to find the path on how to reach there.

Which proves my point again, finding your other half.

That is why, i feel happy whenever i see people with their partners and kids.

and actually putting an effort to making it work.

That to me, is ultimate happiness.

Why?

Because that kind of happiness provides certainty.

and from there, you can then explore other forms of happiness which can potentially fail. eg, career.

Point is, you must have that support system or rather a base, FIRST,

otherwise life would be such a gamble.

BTW, go listen to lee hom's new song, its mv, and lyrics.

cool stuff!

The premiere song of Wang Leehom's new album, "十八般武藝" or "The 18 Martial Arts" is based on an ancient Chinese saying: "早晨開門七件事─柴米油鹽醬醋茶." Rough translated as "The seven things we need in order to open the door in the morning: firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, and tea."

Chasing our dreams often means making sacrifices, especially when it comes to showing our loved ones how much we care. This song is to remind all those who dream big that sometimes the biggest dream of all is simply having someone who can be there with you through all the good times and the bad - someone with whom you can be happy just sharing a home-cooked meal.

" When you were young, what did you want?

i wanted a really big blue airplane

to take me around the world

to every corner of the globe,

traveling back and forth among the white clouds in the blue sky,

And after i grew up, what did i want?

i wanted a small red answering machine,

so i could record with you,

Hi! We're not home at the moment,

blue became red because of you,

firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, tea,

each and every drop is a bud of happiness growing,

a crescent moon, a foolish love,

i already have everything when i have you,

making you happy whether it's day or night,

grasping both your hands even in wind and rain,

i only want you,

want you to stay by my side,

protecting you until the end of time,

a crescent moon, a foolish love,

there's no reason,

to live a complicated life,

i already have everything when i have you. "

Good night, people.

I better get sleeping.

:)

Laughing at ourselves,

make things a lot easier sometimes.

My vey good friend.

I so mengharapkan she gets a boyfriend ever since zaman batu already.

then one day, a guy confessed his feelings towards her.

and the best part is she also like the guy.

THEN U KNOW WHAT SHE SAID OR NOT.

she asked to wait.

I am like wtf wait for what?

WAIT FOR MALAYSIA 2 SNOW IS IT.

u know so hard to find someone hot and that person also find u hot

satu dalam sejuta ok.

also

I lupa tell u guys my dog story.

and how it travelled around the world.

so menyayat hati wth.

I gtg.

see u soon.

: D

Exams are over!

And everything starts again after 3 days. : S

I need to do something.

Studying is just not me anymore.

I want to go out and do things.

Just me and books don't say much to me.

I am bored.

That is why i am currently teaching BM tuition, for two tuition centres,

Which makes up for 8 classes a week, and notes to prepare.

Plus i have this need to exercise every day.

I do not have time.

The thing is, all this is not what i want.

I want to go out and make a difference.

I want to make people happy.

Otherwise i feel like i am wasting my time,

and life would be such a waste.

I know i am 18, but i don't believe in age.

I have got so many dreams, visions and goals that i have yet to fulfill,

College just isn't enough for me.

I want to make people happy.

I want to travel,

Talk to people,

Get input, give output,

and see what i can do.

I want to work to give assurance to people whom lives suck,

and tell them things would be ok.

I hope something would pop up.

That urge to make a difference and help.

I roughly know what i want,

but i still am figuring how i wanna do it.

And i certainly hope i don't have to wait till after my degree.

Just me and books don't speak much, at all.

Living to make myself happy seems so dull after a while.

It doesn't quite matter anymore.

Everybody give me a prayer,

so that something comes quick enough.

A Reminder to myself : I must go for this.

Btw, please do watch these videos of yasmin ahmad.

It really is good.

Probably the most insightful few minutes of your life.